I'm not so much questioning a relationship, but marriage. When you do all that your are suppose to. Your loving, nurturing , supportive, bread winner, the one to cook, clean, help with homework, planning the trips, Planning romanctic escapades, doing all that you need to keep the fire lit. let's not talk about the love- making that's wonderful, but you tell me what are the basis to stay if you are about growth, moving up and your spouse is stagnant, and do not want to do anything, but stay home / sleep. There are no romantic dinners, no shopping sprees, no spending the time with children, no sit down at the dinner table, no helping with the bills except his/her own, don't want to move from their childhood neighborhood, among other don'ts. I 've heard many reasons
- You should love a man / women who stays home
- That's their personality and who they are
- Maybe thats how his/her parents were, and the list goes on.
Well, none of these make sense to stay with someone , but we do because we become comfortable and accustomed to it, complacent to say the least. Then you have some who look at from a Christian point of view and it gets deep. God says marriage is forever, forever for who even when your miserable, even when the person is going against what God has established as a foundation for what a Husband/ wife roles are. How can a man be a head of my house if the wife is acting like the Husband and the wife, and not becasue she wants to. I've had some tell me that only through infidelity will God allow you divorce, and even then he rather you try and work it out, Now we know that's a hard thing to do, that is a barrier that once it's crossed it's hard to get back.
It's getting so bad women turning to women, men turning to men. We need some brothers to step it up and some of you sisters need to get on your game too! The children are suffering. There are so many others areas of this topic that I want a discussion on, but for now let me know what you feel, what you think?
4 comments:
I am a Christian, therefore, I can only respond as a Christian. A marriage is a covenant paralleled to the covenant God has with us - never to be broken! The bible says, I can do all things through Christ, which strengthens me. Not one, two or three things, but ALL things. There will be storms, but He promises to be with us as we endure. Remember, a vow was taken for better or for worse. Certain 'break throughs' can only be received by fasting and prayer. We are in 'spritual warfare' and when we identify with what kind of spirit is attempting to over take us, then we will know how to pray. It's not the person, it is a spirit. We must pray without ceasing!
I'm a woman and a mother first... why go on one passage.
what about love and honor for family and children?
does the storm include abuse? does the storm include damaging your children? if its does in your opinion. than its safe to say we should let murdering husbands set free to pursue new relationships and we should let damaged children who then become disfunctional and criminally challenged adults be excused.... being that woman like your self choose to
ignore this behavior for chirstian sake
This is a very interesting topic that can be looked at from several points of view. I have been married for 19 years. I am not saying it has always been good times but I have never been to the point where I was ready to end my marriage. We have a pact to never go to bed mad at each other so we work it out. However, there are some things that cannot be ignored. If you are not happy how are you going to make your mate happy? It is not your job to make them happy but you would be a easier person to get along with if you were happy.
I DO NOT THINK YOU SHOULD STAY IN THE MARRIAGE IF YOU ARE FEELING THIS WAY!!!!
This is not fair to you or him. You are not getting what you want out of this relationship and he is not getting the loving person he fell in love with. People do grow apart in a marriage, that is normal. If you can part as friends and go on with your life that is best for everyone involved.
The kids also suffer because they have to see mommy and daddy fighting. It not fair to anyone involved.
Why stay together for 30 years just to say you are married when you are not happy? Instead you could say you were married for 10 years got a divorced but you were happy for the last 20 years. Now that could be with another mate of by yourself but at least you are happy and not regretting the 30 years you spent with this person.
My mother and father stayed together for years because they were married and did not want to get a divorce. As a child growing up in that household I can seriosly say it would have been better for them to get a divorce.
Well that is my 2 cent on this matter. I say get out while you can. While you are still young and can enjoy the rest of your life.
P.S. I know marriage is for better or worse but God is a mercier God and I do not believe he would want you to suffer in a bad marriage. He would rather you get a divorce than commit adulty. That is only my opinon. I hope I have not offended anyone.
This is in response to Niesha.
You obviously did not understand what I was saying. When/if you endure a hardship within your marriage, I said to take it to God. He will give you the answers and the desires of your heart. Do you think someone can change? Yes, with God's help. I am not only relying on one passage. And I'm not saying to be miserable either. What I am saying is this - when you notice something is amiss, don't just sit there and hope for the best, you should start praying and fasting - sincerely. I`m talking from experience. I am a "reformed" person who violated my marriage - repeatedly. But only when my spouse and I sought God did I change, never to be done again! I have been healed for over 10 years. I have no desire to go back. My marriage did not break because God was the nucleus. And sister, you should be a disciple of Christ first - He created you. You did not create yourself. Be blessed.
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